The internal struggle raged on.
I simply could not decide what to do.
I had accepted a position as coordinator of a special needs weekend retreat where I would be the one running the show. This included the food the other staff as well as speaking to the parents etc. It was a big responsibility and before jumping into a job like this I requested a one month period to see whether it would work out. After then I would commit if it was working out well and to my liking. This weekend thing was every other weekend. So I had two weekends to see if it would work.
Should I or not?
First weekend was absolutely disastrous, but I was aware that it was a first. Plus all beginnings are hard.
Should I or not?!
The second weekend I could not get staff. After finalizing with the few staff I had, one cancelled, and I had to start the search again.
My wonderful co-worker explained to me that I don’t owe anyone anything.
It was nice to put it into perspective.
So should I or should I not?
The supervisor (who was not on premises throughout the weekend) was super nice and explained that he had to send one of the harder children again because of a situation at home.
He had been the most difficult.
“Okay” I said sweetly, “then this is the final one I will be doing, it is too rough. My schedule is,” I explained.
I just began school again, and one of the volunteers canceled on me last minute, I simply would not enjoy this juggling act this upcoming semester. My grades would suffer.
I anyways have another job, and of course, I reminded myself. Money isn’t everything.
I should not!
I knew I made the right choice when after informing him of this decision. I hung up (okay a little abruptly) and felt a huge weight roll off my shoulders.
I was glad my father did not say I told you so. When I asked him initially he did not think it was a good idea.