The stinkbug that wouldn’t die!


Last night as I was crawling into my bed exhausted after a very long and eventful weekend. I picked up the covers and saw a little flattish type of bug. I identified it almost immediately- it was a stinkbug! It had been placed strategically. It was there as soon as I would get into bed -I couldn’t help but notice it.

(I was very glad I had not removed my glasses yet or I never would have noticed it)

Immediately all the suspects flashed across my mind and I went through all of them. Even when I told those individuals I thought may be the guilty parties–they found it humorous but did not look guilty. No one did.

I told my sister to get a cup since you can guess the ramifications of killing a stinkbug. Especially since it was on my bed, she ran and got a plastic cup. I shoved it in, put a shoe at the other end and ran with it.

‘Where should we put it?’ I whispered to my sister (trying not to wake up the whole household.)

‘Let’s flush it’ she whispered back.

I decided it was a great idea.

I flicked it out of the cup and into the toilet.

And flushed.

For the oddest reason it clung to the side of the toilet bowl and refused to go down.

‘Die!’ I told it.

It was not the very obedient type I guess.

I flushed again.

It was sticking to the side and not budging.

Then it began climbing up the side into the crevices where the water comes out. (I never noticed those before either!)

I imagined someone sitting on the toilet and being in for a little surprise. I was hoping that someone would not be me.

I flushed again and almost began yelling as it slid back down a little but still stuck to the side.

I took the cup, dragged it to the water and pressed it against the side. It began doing the backstroke- quite unconcerned regarding the chaos it was creating.

I tried to squish it, smush it, drown it.

Nothing- no results.

Oh no! I said and began to try other methods.

This was when I realized the cup was getting a little wet and it was full of toilet water. Thankfully I had not gotten wet—Yet!

Then the little stinkbug got bored of swimming and decided to float on a life-preserver (aka the cup).

With no alternative options I had to get the tips of my fingers a little wet, I mean I simply couldn’t have a stinkbug sit like that in middle of the toilet, floating there for the next hapless victim.

I gagged four times.

Finally grabbed it dumped the whole thing in the garbage and tried smashing it but again it was too fast for me and scuttled through the garbage. I most certainly was not sticking my hands in the garbage (I draw my line somewhere!!) I walked away.


This morning I was awoken rudely from my sleep by a friendly ZZZ-ing sound.

By the time it registered what it was I was across the room in seconds and informed my sister that she had to get me bug spray or something to get rid of it. She had been screaming in volume 500. Not even saying english words just the plain ‘aaahhhhh’ type of shrieking.

The friendly bee landed on my bed (specifically on my blanket) I sprayed it vigorously. It died and left a spot of moisture surrounding the dead friend. I removed it carefully with a paper-towel.

(Of course I could not help but chase my sister around with the bee just for kicks)

I was told by every member of the household to change my linen ASAP.


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